How often do you feel “in the zone” – when you lose yourself completely in that book or painting that you don’t feel when these few hours passed by?
In the era of constant phone notifications about that new event, facebook message, new movie coming out, hot trending articles (damn you Wikipedia, Ted and Quora!), “recommended by others” books, movies, videoclips, that new Instagram photos of these people you are secretly following and envy their pretty, perfect lives full of freedom… All of this is distraction which softly kills our limited time and pulls us away from realising our dreams (both, these precisely drafted and these blurry ones e.g. One day I would like to have my own business). It’s much easier to click and absorb something which is already materialised than create something by yourself.
That’s why in order to stay sane it’s crucial to work on both tangible projects with an instant gratification (e.g. writing an article, painting something) and non-tangible (things with deterred gratification) projects (e.g. working out to get your dream body, eating healthy, working on your career by doing your best in whatever you do, cultivating friendships, starting a company).
I feel pretty fucked up (pardon me my French) at the moment, I can’t lift my two projects from the near-ground after taking hard decisions, terminating unhealthy and toxic collaboration with the developers (why the fuck I can’t code), pivoting idea for the thousand time (thanks Marcin) and being in process of redesigning mock-ups. My feature creepiness reached levels far far above cloud nine and soon after I’ve been falling to land on harsh reality of constructing nearly impossible with little resources a.ka time & money.
I’ve reached extreme ridicule of entrepreneurial naivety (I’ve been building Evoque more than 3 years now) but I can’t and won’t give up. All my friends whom few years ago I was vividly telling that I’m starting a company, are probably not taking my projects seriously anymore. Lots of people like to brag about starting their own ‘thing’, but most of them abandon their plans soon after first outbursts of excitement have passed/they have slept with ‘that idea’ and they noticed first obstacles. But I don’t want to be that guy/girl.
I will try and fail, try and fail, and finally at some point it will all start to go in the right direction.
You can’t imagine how many times I feel hopeless and useless but there is always one thing which keeps me fighting – I want to escape mediocrity and actually make an impact. Whether it is to be Evoque, Sailo or another side project. Eventually, something will break through.
I would never forgive myself for not trying, anyway.